“Too many mother hen parents and too much pressure”, word of Max Esposito

by ALESSANDRO CRISAFULLI

“My father could have arrived, but he missed the train of football that matters. Because of this, he saw in me the possibility of making it. Ma, beyond a few disagreements, for a little too much advice, he never put too much pressure on me..."

Few can describe the parent-child relationship in sport more completely than Massimiliano Esposito, for everyone Max. A past as a professional footballer, with around thirty goals between Serie A and B (Napoli, Lazio, Brescia etc..). a father, Antonio, which promised well, but he failed to break through. A son playing, in the first category. And the off-field roles, first as coach and then as youth sector manager, always in contact with mothers and fathers of young talents or aspiring talents.

E, not even doing it on purpose, his company, in Padua, It's called Polisportiva Sacra Famiglia... brought to you in a few years by 60 a 220 guys and, above all, with a totally new environment.

Max, let's start from here. What kind of reality did you find and how did you transform it?

“It was a reality similar to parish ones. The thing that struck me most was that there was a lack of fun. As today it is missing in all football schools. Because we only think about the result and not about the growth of the kids. I think about when, at the start, we had some teams in the Regional championships: every year it was agony, to save the category at all costs. Everyone focused only on that. I decided to reset. Starting again from the provincial games and from a new way of experiencing the matches, without pressure on either the kids or the coaches, obviously always trying to win, but in a certain environment and way”.

To change the status quo you also had to influence the parents who, we know it, they often have attitudes and behaviors that are harmful to children. How you acted?

“It is essential to work on parents. If they are not polite, neither are the boys. I'll tell you this: we have an external passage corridor in front of the changing rooms. The parents were always there, they entered, they helped their children get dressed, they were creating chaos... I saw shocking things. For three years I have been forbidden to stop there and enter. Come on already 6-7 years we have to work on children's autonomy".

So let's go back to you, child, in Naples. When did you start football school? Your parents pushed you?

“At the time we grew up on the streets. I left school and immediately went down: the doors made with rubbish bags, car rims to act as a bank, the cobblestones to dribble. Overalls and shoes that broke. My verses 11 years they decided to take me to a football school, in Posillipo, to get me off the street. Thus began the routine of training and matches. For me it was pure passion."

What differences there were, on this point, between mother Assunta and father Antonio?

“Mom was a mom. Also because there were also the other two brothers to look after. My father had played, he could have gone to Napoli, but then it blew. So he was close to me, he hoped that I could take that train. Knowing the game, he often gave me advice. Sometimes even exaggerating. We had a few arguments but then it ended there. I felt it more like support than pressure.".

A 14 years comes the audition at Catanzaro and the possibility of a first leap forward, a 400 km from home. What happens?

"I go. They take me. I'm separating myself from the family. I train hard, game, I get better. My parents, even if the family situation was not easy, they don't give me too much responsibility, they follow me at a distance. But after a while I start to feel the distance and a bit of melancholy. I run away and take the first train to Naples. I arrive at midnight. I remember very well: the three of us sit at the kitchen table. They tell me 'you decide, if you want to stay here, finish school, look for a job, All right, if you want to chase your dream you have to go back down. The choice is yours. Shortly afterwards I took the train back to Catanzaro."

The rest is your story as an excellent professional footballer. Let's then come to post-career, therefore to the experiences as a coach and, above all, as Manager of a youth sector. What are the major critical issues you experience on a daily basis with families??

“First of all, I'll tell you that I've noticed that there is no longer the passion that there once was among the kids. We played all day, we would never stop. Today many come because they are pushed by their parents, others like to play but don't have the same fire burning inside us. Unfortunately, this is the time when cell phones and social media win...".

It is a theme that addresses this of children's digital addiction?

“Right. I forced my coaches to have a pizza party a month with all the families. It serves to create team spirit and aggregation. At the entrance there is always a basket where the kids have to hand over their cell phones. And then you magically see that they look at each other again, to talk, to relate. The problem is that then they go home and everything goes back to the way it was before.".

What kind of parents have you met in your career as a manager?

“So many mother hen parents. Who can't detach the umbilical cord with their own child. Many are fixated on the result and on their children, ready to complain. Then, to the weekend games, the attacks, at least the verbal ones, they are the order of the day, in general, in our youth football. And we should also broaden the discussion to coaches, given that too many do not have the pedagogical skills to relate to children and young people".

To conclude, What advice would you give to parents of young footballers, Today?

“The real victory lies in the kids' enjoyment and their growth. Don't be dazzled by anything else and let them play, and make mistakes, in pace”.